Mid-year Reflection

About 4.5 months have passed since I embarked on my Fulbright adventure in Italy. Time is moving at a weird pace. On one hand, I can’t believe that in 4 months (June 9th), I will have my last day of teaching. On the other hand, it feels like I’ve been living in Matera for years. I do appreciate how time seems to me at the moment. Time only moves quicker as you age, but parts of my life have slowed down here in Italy (I can credit that to my part-time work schedule). In my free time, I’ve been reflecting on my experiences, and I’ve learned more about myself in these last few months. Living on my own in a foreign country has forced me to become as independent as possible, and the experience has been both challenging and rewarding (my two buzzwords of this whole Fulbright adventure). Here are some of my reflections as I transition into the second-half of my Fulbright grant:

• Teaching is more difficult than it may appear. I only spend 16 hours / week in the classroom, but sometimes it feels a lot longer. Some days are incredibly draining: students aren’t listening and/or not participating, technology isn’t cooperating properly, and somehow you can’t seem to successfully complete a full lesson. These days are the toughest, and it can be easy to feel useless as the Language Assistant. However, I feel lucky to work with supportive and caring teachers, and they always reassure me that my lessons are important and help the students improve their learning. Not all days are like this, and there are some days that are actually rewarding. For example, a recent lesson on American social etiquette intrigued a lot of my students, and it led to great discussions about the differences between Italian and American social practices (they still can’t believe that Americans don’t regularly kiss cheeks as a friendly greeting). Teaching has always been a difficult profession, but as we navigate this post-COVID education system, please be patient and appreciative of your children’s teachers!

• Living your daily life in your second language is a giant brain exercise. Part of the reason why I applied to do Fulbright in Italy was to immerse myself in the language. After majoring in Italian in college and not having a semester abroad experience, I wanted the opportunity to have full immersion. After 4 months, my Italian has greatly improved, and my conversational skills and reading skills are more fluid than ever before. I don’t find myself thinking of the sentence before I speak, and I can understand almost everything that someone says to me in a conversation. There are moments that are quite challenging, and sometimes after I come home from a day of speaking Italian I feel like I just took a big exam. Right now, I’m trying to perfect my accent which is extremely hard when living in a small Italian city (people automatically know that I am a native English speaker, even though I’m saying the sentence in perfect Italian). Believe it or not, sometimes I struggle the most in restaurants or pastry shops! There are many dishes/desserts where I don’t recognize the names, so I end up saying something like “questo qua” (this one here) while I point to the display case of pastries. Another example is when the washing machine broke in my apartment, and I had to try to explain to the mechanic what the problem was–”questo buttone è rosso ma deve essere verde” (this button is red but it has to be green). It can be discouraging to have studied a foreign language for so many years and struggle at times to communicate. In the classroom, my students know that I speak Italian, and often they will ask me questions about something in Italian (if they don’t know how to ask in English). It becomes difficult when students will mesh Italian with their town dialect, and it’s discouraging when I don’t understand them. However, I am learning by living, and I’m sure by June my language skills will be amazing.

• Being a cultural ambassador requires some tough conversations. My job as a Fulbright ETA requires me to teach English through American cultural immersion. I prepare lessons about a variety of topics like holidays, sports, food culture, geography, etc. I love teaching my Italian students about new concepts that seem so normal to me. For example, there’s no tipping culture in Italy, so I created a lesson all about why we tip service workers and how much we tip. Questions always arise about these lighter cultural topics, but there are times where my students ask me some difficult questions about American society. The most common question pertains to gun ownership and gun violence in America. In Italy, assault rifles are banned and it’s a long, bureaucratic process to purchase a handgun, so gun violence is not a societal issue. Regardless of political beliefs, you have to try to be as non-partisan as possible when explaining these issues, but I do encourage my students to express their thoughts (in English) about these issues to stimulate some critical thinking. Like every country, the U.S. is not perfect, and it’s important to not sugarcoat major issues that affect Americans everyday.

• It’s okay to not feel as “productive” as before. The part-time ETA schedule allows for a lot of free time to get involved in the local community and explore the country. Going from a stressful senior year of college to a slower-paced job has been quite the whiplash. Last year at this time I was writing an Italian thesis, attending 4 classes, preparing to present research at a conference, studying for exams, tending to my leadership and club roles on campus, and finding time to hang out with my friends. This fast-paced and jam-packed schedule is a remnant of the past. Now, I usually teach everyday from 8 or 9 until 12 or 1. Then, I go to the gym, tutor some locals in the late afternoons, see friends, go to a museum, explore the city, and spend an hour at night preparing materials for the next day. I’m grateful to have a slower-paced year after my hectic senior year. However, I sometimes feel guilty for not doing as much work as before. I even started working for a wonderful travel blog on the side to have more work to do, but it’s only 6 hours per week. I’m trying to live in the moment more of this experience and not worry about my “lack” of productivity some days. I remind myself that I have my whole life to work in America, and that this experience today is one-in-a-lifetime. Plus, speaking Italian all day feels like a part-time job depending on the day!

• Community is the most important thing to find in a new city or country. I mentioned in my first blog that I had been so positively welcomed by the local Materana community. This sense of community has continued through my whole experience. Work colleagues drive me to and from work, offer to take me to coffee after lessons, and always praise my work in the classroom. All the teachers at my school always tell me that if I need something to call them. My landlord feels like a second mom and invites me to her home for desserts or coffee. I was nervous about coming into a smaller community and fitting in, but everyone has made me feel welcomed. I also have a great group of Italians and other international students, so it’s nice to have other young people to spend time with in the city. Sometimes, I still feel like an “outsider” in Matera (not understanding small cultural cues, physically not looking Italian, walking faster than the average Southern Italian), but no one here has made me feel like an outsider.

I’m looking forward to the second-half of my Fulbright grant in Italy. I have lots of trips planned, and I’m looking forward to the warmer months exploring the Southern Italian beaches. I’m also curious to see how I will reflect on my year of personal growth after this experience. The transition to adulthood straight from university to living in a new country will make me a braver and more resilient person by next year.